Below is a quick note i just wrote to Mary Murry who you ( Irene and Leta) might remember . It is about the passing on Saturday of my "" little lady"" as i referred to her these last few years.. Muriel McKeown.. as you know had my constant visits especially in these last 5 years.....when i was away often my friends would see that she was called and visited....... She would have been 95 this coming May..
It was 1977 that John and Jim washed her windows.. and did her lawns, Jill doing her watering and weeding and later inheiriting her vintage clothes.. and me watching over and looking in on her to help her......... the long stiring of little ladies in my life..........Mrs. Ryza's , Mrrs Oliver , Mrs Allen , Abby , sister sallis etc etc... ( John and Jim do you remember the chicken ladies when you were deliver eggs on Byron lol)
You younger ones will remember her coming to your church and even school events.. and seasonal dinners .... as a way we could entertain her and give her outings..She even attended some of Rhyannas performances ! She lived down near Windsor Park She never married and thus had no children and had no close siblings close in relationships or in distance...
At the time , we started looking after her ..... she was 4 years younger than I am now !
What a thot that is.! ! . how perspectives change .........
Dear Mary Murray (Smith)
hi there. Mary . i wanted to let you know that muriel 's journey has come to an end or rather to a new beginning.....
she has held on a long time.. and done well with all her care home and "hired vistitors"" they were all very good to her.. so from that standpoint she was never lonely.. or could have felt neglected....... they were like daughters ! sweet to her.. always... She was fond of showing me off to them. always tellling how long she had known my family.. she was always interested in knowing how each of them were doing .. she tried hard to keep up to date.. I was there so often that it wasn't hard !
the last several months she slept more and more but was bright when awake
the last month tho" her awake times were shorter and and less interested in visiting or talking.. she had had times many times over the past year that she would seem to fade but always she would rally .. she had done her last rally and the last week just quietely started slipping away .. until on saturday she let go..
She managed into 9 decades.. Don't we both hope to do as well.. Its really only the last 2 or 3 years that she has had to have all this help...
so a good life.. she had............. we can only wish her well in her next...
I'll let you know when we have made final arrangments for her ..
joyce Gathright
So for all of you Gathrights who recall Muriel MIss McKeown.. we will say goodbye........ with the knowledge that all of you were a bright spot in her life for all the years that we were activily involved with her.. and her memory of you was kept in these last years thruough her visits with me...even tho'' your lives took you in other directions , to grown ups and far away..
Dear Joyce. I am so glad that Muriel had you to take care of her. She was
such a great lady!! I wish you had known her in her prime she was incredible
and so so good to me. I have to admitt I sit here in tears as I type. I know
she will be so much happier where she is I only wish I could go back in time
and relive the rich moments I spent with her.
If there are mountains in heaven I am sure she and my mother are climbing
to the peak to see a sunset together. They were dear friends. Thank you so
much for letting me know the news. Please keep me posted. She was like a
mother to me during my nurses training. I havent been near as good a
daughter, although I have dropped in when I could. I should have written
letters and kept her informed of my busy family life,she whould have liked
that. It was so difficult to see her frail and not herself. Please keep in
touch. Mary
I just attended the small funeral for Muriel...I came away with more thots.. briefly stated:::
ReplyDeleteIt was most interesting to hear the many varied perspectives on an individual.. oh such a variation...! !
some even made comments afterward. such as ..""i didn't know who they were talking about""
It gave me to think...how little I knew of Muriel even tho I knew her , for over 30 years..
She had her life for 65 years before that.. That is almost my whole lifetime ! !
There were those that knew her as a fur trader for the Hudson Bay company ! ! ! imagine ! those who knew her in her volunteer life, in her working years...her athletic life, her outdoors life and her personal interests..
There was a bright vivacious 95 year old who knew Muriel all her years .....and still... she just knew once perspective..
Bottom line...? there is so much more to a persons life, their personality in different era's of their years..than we may ever know..
We only know how they touched us... and possibly how we touched them...
In speaking with others at the reception, who noted similarly...it was observed.. how even within a family.. we only know our parents or our children.. in a limited sphere... I may not know very much of my childrens life beyond their immediate families and the interactions with me and their siblings in their family of origin...
and conversely, My children do not know me. ! outside of those spheres..No there is much about me that they may not know..I know...they don't know me in my various community roles...classes workshops, relationships etc..
Yes I , just like them , are much more than meets the eye or the activity..
This funeral and its observations does show the value to those left behind....when a memorial is one that gives voice to the many ..to reminisce and say their farewells to the likes of Muriel as she passes thru the veil....
The old joke of going to your own funeral isn't so funny.. it might be very enlightening !
As Robert Burns the Bard of Scotland said.. ""Ah the gift to gie us to see ourselves as others see us..""
i am sorry to hear about muriel, but also glad that she will be free of her frustrations and fragility now that she has let go of her earth body... 95 yrs old.. amazing! and i thought she was old 30 yrs ago, when i used to cut her lawn on the diagonal, and move her coconuts around her basement form one location to another. i often wonder what happened to those vintage dresses.. i loved them, and wore them like crazy, but they all disappeared?... maybe in my travels, i dont know, i just cant imagine having gettign rid of them,, but i do have fond and vivid memories of them. i hope all of this , the news, the funeral etc, hasnt taken too much out of you... did you help with the funeral plans? or was there someone else? i am glad her service was well attended. i have often thot it would be interesting to attend ones own funeral, and be a fly on the wall.. if nothing else, just to see who from our varied segments of our life would be there, and if there are some who would come out of the woodwork...
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing... i guess you passed on to me, the weakness for little old ladies!! i have had a few of my own!!
Thanks all of you , for your comments.. in the blog ,some so personal, in email and some by telephone....look at all the mediums we have..
ReplyDeleteA time to reflect on the life spans and jim gave me so much to think about ..how some circles of life are very large ( long) and touch so many ..... to the smaller circles that still touch many and deeply...There is so much to think about..and appreciate.. Just always appreciate life! those around you and your own. love mum
Just a comment to remind that the tree at the end of the drive on Haultain is a Ponderosa Pine that Muriel had in a bucket so that she could move it in out of the cold and she gave it to me to look after as she couldn't take care of properly anymore. I planted where it stands now and it thrived for all of the years that we lived there. Any time you are in that neighborhood check out the Muriel Pine.
ReplyDeleteTed