Forties File Friday - Chores

JOHN

Chores,

Can we be honest!? This could fill up pages.

In all honesty we do chores at our home but not like we did them when I was little. Life for the older children was very different than the younger children. The chores themselves were not so terrible it was the timing, the administration, and unrealistically long lists. Being the oldest of 8 kids, Mum and Dad were over their heads with stuff to be done. Financially we were all pulling together too. Dad, is the master of accomplishing chores at a methodical pace and deviating from the first chore to connected chores because he, “ Wants the job done right” Mum, wanted everything done, right away and was satisfied with “ not done right but done good enough to hold up for a while”. We also had chickens, rabbits, and a garden. I can honestly say that Dad never stopped doing chores. They were both right about how chores should be done even though their approach was so different and they never really were able to trim down the administration and decision making process of what ,when and who did what.

I also had my own part-time jobs from age 11 and had full week-ends, doing everything from cleaning elderly people’s homes, gardens, washing parking lots, windows, and other chores. We also started early with an entrepreneurial venture of selling cucumbers and other things. Saturday mornings, often started with a long list of chores of things that needed done. It was rather depressing because it seemed impossible to get them out of the way. The chores just seemed endless even though they might not have been but I really don’t have great memories of chores except for a few. I remember when I was in grade 5 DAD was away and I was given the chore of shooting the rats in the chicken house. I felt so proud and grown up to have a high powered pellet gun and this responsibility. It is funny though that I also felt sorry for the rats and had nightmares of those red eyes in the flash light that didn’t blink looking up at me before I shot them. I was not really the hunting or population control type of young boy.

Helping Dad, skin rabbits, and butcher and clean chickens was also something that is very clear in my repertoire of childhood memories. I did like the garden and the smell of fresh earth, I love planting harvesting and hated weeding. But long list of chores and waiting for mum and dad to decide what was a priority and where to start also is deep in my chores chargrin. I did prefer “Helping, Mum or Helping Dad to chores. With 8 kids some private time and parallel talk sessions are some of my fonder memories.

This all said, and done I think that doing chores is important. At our home we have addressed things differently, we also have the advantage of only having two boys who are a year apart and now 14/13.

Chores do not come on lists. They are not written down or posted on doors, bathroom walls, Chore Boards or Charts. They are simple and Hiroko is a great administrator.

When the boys became 12-11 it was decided that we would not ask for them do chores but that they were expected to slowly take care of themselves like university students would. Hiroko decided, that she was not only raising boys but future husbands. In a country where men are not expected to help out at home she decided that she would raise the type of boys that future daughter in laws would give her a hug and say, “ Thank you, he is such a help at home.”

A Skelton in the closet is that we had house cleaners and house helpers that did most of the house work while they were young. There was a time when we also had a driver to ferry Hiroko and I and the boys.

One day we noticed that they were asking our help to do chores and expecting things done that the boys had time and were capable and able to do. Hiroko and I decided to change and do our own house work. Even though we are so busy. Being busy meant that we were not as efficient at doing laundry and clean up and the boys were having problems with not having laundry done on time. We were always in a catch up mode. And the few days off we had we were slaving in the home. We decided to activate change.

The boys have helped us with washing windows, vacuuming, and laundry etc. but when Johnny turned 12-11 we decided to change. I love this quote and I live by it for my career and lifestyle, ““You never ‘change’ things by fighting the existing reality. To ‘change’ something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” - Buckminster Fuller Robert

I explained that at 11 I had my own part-time jobs chores, and was buying “ Brand” item clothing and necessities for myself. To make it fair we decided to start when Denny was eleven and not Johnny so that Denny didn’t have to start at 10.

The boys since then have done their own laundry. We don’t do it for them. They do it themselves. Hiroko is a master of love and logic and she is good about not bailing them out. But showing love and empathy when they wear stinky clothes to school or miss sports because they don’t have their clothes. The boys rooms are messy 6 days of the week. If we have any fun family activities that we are going they are invited if they have clean rooms. So it sort of depends on whether they want to join or not. The rooms are their own. Fortunately, Johnny loves to cook and even will encourage us to take him shopping so he can cook meals. Denny, prefers Johnny’s cooking to Dad. Denny would rather wash dishes than cook so they get along fine.

Collecting wood for the fire places, and other work the boys a good helps. Most Chores are done with Daddy if they are big. Daddy is good at mixing up the work with fun times, diversions so they still enjoy working with me. Life and chores are not perfect but it is great that they can do laundry and cook and clean up at least. It makes it easier for Mum and Dad if we have to be out late or feel tired and need a meal made.

The fun thing about the boys doing their own laundry is that if we ever do it for them they are very grateful. Demographics are very different because of a small family and the boys are now teens and we live far enough away from activities up at the treehouse that they need our rides and help to get to fun and exciting activities and the currency for our taxi service is clean rooms.

So yes, we have chores they are just administrated differently, and we are working with an older set of boys and Mum and Dad don’t need help for younger siblings so I can’t brag about our system. I think that if we multiplied our children by 5 added in fix up home, garden, lots of pets, etc. we would be making huge lists and giving chores to our boys, their turtle and any neighbor kids who had the misfortune to visit our home on a weekend.

Eden

i liked to sweep. and i especially liked to clean mirrors. I dreaded delivering papers and emptying the compost. odd socks weren't a favorite, and still aren't.

Paige

that's why there are kids! I did so many chores as a child that I have no interest in doing chores now as an adult... although... itseems that my entire day is made up of chores that I need to do.